Leo’s Birth Story

On Thursday December 22nd I was planning on attending my regular OB appointment. My appointment was at 8:45AM. This would be my last OB appointment before my induction on December 29. The past couple weeks have been fairly rough. I’ve been battling issues with my blood pressure, and last week I haven’t been able to control it. I was also beginning to swell, and was having contractions fairly regularly. when I went to my OB appointment it was determined that I was 3cm and 50 effaced still. Because of my pregnancy complications (hypertension, gestational diabetes) I was sent to L&D for weekly fetal monitoring. My OB decided since my BP was getting out of control if I made some sort of cervical change I was going to be induced that day. When I was checked a 12:30PM my OB looked at me and said “You know what let’s have a baby today. Today is a good day.”

Because of my BP I was being closely monitored. At 2:00PM my OB told me that she believes I was developing pre-eclampsia so she wanted to start me on magnesium sulfate to prevent a seizure. That stuff was the worst in the world. It made me hot, clammy, and nauseated. For an hour they had to do a high dosage of it, and then afterwards I stayed on the magnesium until a day after delivery. At 3:00PM they started the pitocin. Because of the magnesium sulfate I was not progressing much. By 6:00AM Friday I was still only at 4CM and 50% effaced.

During this time I was in a lot of pain. The contractions were picking up because of the pitocin. Every time a nurse came in I was asked if I wanted an epidural. I kept refusing since I wanted to try to deal with the pain on my own. At 8:00AM Friday my OB came to check on me. After discussing my concerns for an epidural I was reassured by her that it was the best thing to do and that my labor will finally progress if I take it. At this point I couldn’t handle the contractions, the pain, the lack of sleep.. soo.. I agreed to the epidural. The epidural was the best worst decision ever. I happened to end up with an anaesthologist who just came out of residency. The first time he tried getting the epidural in he hit a blood vessel. Blood went everywhere. The second time he ended up hitting nerves in my both my legs. He then decided to get another anaesthologist to do my epidural because he “couldn’t find a good place on my back and needed a second pair of eyes.” The second anaesthologist was able to get the epidural in. The anaesthologist was giving the original anaesthologist a lesson on how to find a good place on my back. After the epidural got in I immediately felt relief. This was around 11:00AM. At 1:00PM I was checked again. I was at 6cm. Progress. Hurray! At around 1:30PM I started to feel a lot of discomfort. When I told the nurse attending me she did a check. I asked her if I made any progress. She said she was going to get my OB to check me. My OB came in to check me again. I magically turned into a 9cm ready to push.

The actual delivery was the easy part. I began pushing around 2:00PM. After what felt like 5 minutes of pushing Wiggle Man came out. I was warned before pushing Leo may not be responsive because of the magnesium sulfate. It felt like he flew out of me. When he did he immediately began to cry. The nurses whisked him away in order to do a complete check after my S/O cut the cord. He was completely healthy, happy, and had a head full of hair.  While waiting on getting to hold Leo again my OB had to stitch me up. I ended up with a minor second degree tear. Leo was born at 2:44PM on December 23, 2011. He was 6lbs 110z and 19 & a half inches long. 

The rest of my recovery/time with Leo/etc is more of a blur. I ended up suffering a major epidural headache the nurses kept talking down while I was in the hospital. I had to stay on the magnesium sulfate until Saturday which left me in bed. I was discharged on Christmas barely unable to keep my head up. On December 26 I ended up back in the emergency room since I was puking from how much pain I was in. I couldn’t keep my head up, stand, use the restroom.. The time that I got with Wiggle Man the first initial days was minimal. I was stuck laying in a recliner until I got better. When I ended up in the emergency room the doctor said “Dr. XYZ did your epidural didn’t he?” which, to me, implied that anaesthologists has had issues before (and no – he wasn’t looking at my chart. He asked me if I had a baby recently. I said yes, then asked me if I had an epidural.). I was told to drink lots of fluid, increase my caffeine intake, and rest rest rest. I was warned that this could last for up to two weeks. I’m so thankful I’ve had the wonderful support of my parents, my S/O, and my friends I’ve gained from the Pregnancy Support thread on GaiaOnline. It wasn’t until nearly a week later that I was able to life my head long enough in order to get up. I feel really guilty I haven’t had all of the time I have wanted with Wiggle Man but I know things will only get better from here and what happened to me wasn’t my fault.

As of today I really believe my birth experience is what caused me to finally be pushed over the edge in terms of my PSTD, and PPD.  I still have days where I look back and cry that I wasn’t able to give Wiggle Man everything I wanted to. Will I ever get over this feeling?